Infertility can be incredibly hard. Many couples who are struggling with infertility feel depressed, frustrated and even envious of those who seem to conceive without any problems. It can be hard to know what to say to someone who has been struggling with infertility. Here are a couple things you shouldn't say to someone with infertility.
1. "Who's Problem Is It? His or Hers?"
Although you might be curious about the cause of the infertility, this is a very personal and sensitive question. Imagine wanting a baby so badly, but knowing that your body is malfunctioning so that you are unable to conceive. You might feel broken, less than others, or as if something was wrong with you. This is not information you want or need to share with others.
If a friend wants to talk about their diagnosis with you, that is different, and you can welcome the conversation. However, you shouldn't ask or pry about the reasons why the couple is struggling with infertility.
2. "Be Glad You Don't Have Kids!"
Most parents would agree that having children is one of the best, albeit hardest, things they ever did. Starting your family is magical, and something many people dream of. If you have a loved one that is struggling with infertility, don't tell them that they should be happy that they don't have a family. Or don't remind them of everything that they can do because they don't have kids.
Instead, help them to be a part of your family if you already have children. Help them feel like they have a family. They may want to hold your baby, play with your child, or come to family dinners. This may make them feel encouraged and hopeful about their future family.
3. "You Should Just Adopt"
Adoption is a wonderful thing that has blessed the lives of many people. However, it is not a decision that should be taken lightly. A couple has many options when it comes to having a child. The choice to adopt is very personal and couples should make that choice completely on their own.
In addition, you also shouldn't suggest that they try certain things like IVF or surrogacy. Their doctor of obstetrics will make them aware of all of their options. If they ask you for advice, feel free to give it. But don't try to lecture them about what choice is best for them.
By avoiding these three statements, you can help support a loved one who is struggling with infertility.